Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Keep the freedom to do nothing at all alive.



The core of Timothy  Leary’s philosophy and phrases may be summarized as: “You are the owner and operator of your own brain. Free yourself from imprints and robot behavior. Take control of yourself. Question authority, including me.” He failed to foresee that many had no desire to free themselves from their imprints.

I spent about 4 hours yesterday researching everyone and everything on the Election Ballot for Nov 2 , 2010. I found it very difficult to trust who was saying what and why. I checked references,  past issues and pretty much anything I could find on each person/ issue. I realized most people ( including the 5 people in the house I am staying in right now) are not going to spend that much time to really figure out what each empty oval means to our city/ state/ county. In fact most people feel so hopeless they won't even vote. 

"Why should I?" said one girl sitting on the couch. The guy next to her replies "It's just giving into the system. It's just working into that system that I am against." Humm…If everyone would just ignore the government, then the government wouldn't have the power and backing to do much. In that case, we give no power to a bunch of idiots with guns and bombs and mind games, in which case they will take the power back with fear, violence and mind fucks. Have you watched the TV in the past 7 years? FEAR, VIOLENCE, MIND FUCK all over it! 

So I asked the rest of the room "What can we do? What should we do?" Silence from all around. There is a feeling of hopelessness. What can we do? What should we do?

I have no idea!  and i'm agitated by this. 

I am not political at all! But I do know that there are people in charge who make decisions about where I get my food,  how my children will be taught, how clean my streets, air and water is, and how organic my food is.  These people decide how much money is going to war and how much money is going to health. These people, that I know nothing about, are controlling what I see on TV and what I hear on the radio, worst yet the government ( and big 'supporters') are controlling the AP Press, which controls all the news we get.    

Then I ran into the problem of the actual voting system. If I vote Green, will that take away the vote from the Democrates which could allow a Republican to win? ..AHHH...It's like a chess match. 

This leaves most people feeling powerless, which in turn leads them to live their lives on auto pilot, which in turn allows the government to do as they please.  Some people think their true vote is in consumerism, which I believe is partially true. (Buy what you believe in. Support who you believe in. Put money into your community and passions.) But I also believe that we can't let the imprints of greedy government settle into our blueprints and into our children's blueprints. 

 Some people like having the freedom to not care and not participate. I get that. But I also get that we are one generation away from even having the right to vote taken away from us.  So we have to vote in order to keep at least that right alive. We may be one generation away from swimming with wild dolphins. One generation away from breathing clean air. One germination away from eating food that does not have Monsanto genes. We have to vote to keep our freedom to breathe clean air, to have good food, have great heath care, to have oceans full of fish and mammals and we have to vote in order to keep the freedom to do nothing at all.  

"Be the owner and operator of your own brain. Question authority." People are not supposed to be afraid of their government. The government is suppose to be afraid of its people. 

I'm not asking you to free yourself from robot behaviors. I'm asking  you to acknowledge that in America we have the luxury to have those robotic behaviors. Vote to keep the quality of that luxury alive. 


"Artists lie to tell the truth. Politicians lie to hide it."
- V for Vendetta -






Wednesday, October 20, 2010

"It’s good to have an open mind, but not so open that your brain falls out."

I decided to take a 3.5 week break of my life. I thought it was for my husbands sake. But now I see it was ultimately for me. It took 1.5 weeks to totally disengage from my "normal" state of being. As I sat in the lazy boy in another persons home watching other people live there lives in full I had to remind myself that I was just a visiter in their home. That meant that none of the drama was mine or needed to be mine. I had to remind myself that I didn't have to say anything or do anything to better or worsen any situation. I had to totally disengage from myself to fully allow the environment to be in it's "normal" state, as much as could, with me in it. As I lay in bed even, I would disengage: Dogs barking, a falling sliding door and I would think to myself "not my problem" and I would smile and cozy into the sleeping bag even deeper. It also helped that there has been nonstop Cannabis smoke filling the air and a cup full with cider, beer and/or wine. I don't smoke at all and I typically drink on average once, maybe twice, a week at most, so this fog of characters and chemicals put me into a freedom daze that I hadn't felt since before college.

Now I am on week 2.  I have an entrepreneur's mind, so I have already thought of countless ways for everyone here to make more money (however they seem to giggle them off as petty silly ways to an ego). I watch these ideas float through, only putting my attachment to a few that seem solid and stick. So far 2 have stuck. One is to interview a local shop owner. The other is to email one specific sentence to a soon to be close friend. For me that is a HUGE deal! For someone who jots down every idea and tries to chase after them like they are money trees or dark chocolate covered salted almonds ( YUM), it is very hard to let ideas go and only pay attention to the ones that seem most important to my wellbeing.( I'll try to keep this attribute with me when I return to my daily life. It is very freeing. )

The place I am staying in reminds me of a hostel in another county. And I mean that in the best way possible! it is clean in the important areas, but dusty and well…the toilets stink. We had to replace the shower curtain on day one! There are four people sharing the house with my husband and I and 2 more coming this week. There is one guy camping outside under the gazebo. Each day 2-6 other people drop in to work. And between that so many characters call and stop by adding their own spin to the intense drama.  The food we are making is amazing! (GREAT recipes coming soon!) I love all the people we have with us! Everyone is such a character. Through the shit talking and bouts of frustration , you can tell there is a sense of loving family and security. We are about 8 miles from town, then down a dirt road for about 1 mile into the forest. One of our neighbors is an ex-con who is the sweetest, most talkative, cheery person (and precise pencil and pointillism artists) I have ever met. The other neighbor lives with his wife is a beautiful house he built, filled with wood and glass work he creates ( plIus he is a film actor and straight shooter).  No phone. Spotty internet. fresh, sunny outdoors…ahhh!

Anyhow, so now I have 1.5 weeks left on this non-adventure adventure and I am loving every minute of it. I am now engaged partially, although i'm still trying to keep my personality at bay. My personality, or should I say personalities, so needed a rest!

I use to do this all the time growing up. By 'this' I mean allowing my ego/personality to sit on the side lines as I totally explore another being's life and lifestyle. In fact in middle school I even traded lives with a friend for a week for a science project. I was Julie for one whole week and she was Leila. I lived at her house, went to her classes, took her exams, and she did the same for me. People called me Julie ( even her sister, brother and parents). Her life was filled with school, cleaning and boardgames. The life she had taken over for me was filled with school, piano lessons, hebrew school, and karate. When we traded back lives she told me "I had no ideas you had a crazy life!" To me her life was simple and easy. It was nice for a week but I do love the craziness of excitement in the mind and adventure of learning and traveling into other realms of experiencing.

As one gets older it seems the only way to truly get out of the self is by mind altering substances that force the self/ personality/ego to step aside. But for me it is necessary to keep that flexibility of the self naturally. My motto is a flexible mind is a flexible body.  But as Karl Jansen M.D., Ph.D. wrote "It’s good to have an open mind, but not so open that your brain falls out."


… until next time. Dreams and Realities

"It’s good to have an open mind, but not so open that your brain falls out."

I decided to take a 3.5 week break of my life. I thought it was for my husbands sake. But now I see it was ultimately for me. It took 1.5 weeks to totally disengage from my "normal" state of being. As I sat in the lazy boy in another persons home watching other people live there lives in full I had to remind myself that I was just a visiter in their home. That meant that none of the drama was mine or needed to be mine. I had to remind myself that I didn't have to say anything or do anything to better or worsen any situation. I had to totally disengage from myself to fully allow the environment to be in it's "normal" state, as much as could, with me in it. As I lay in bed even, I would disengage: Dogs barking, a falling sliding door and I would think to myself "not my problem" and I would smile and cozy into the sleeping bag even deeper. It also helped that there has been nonstop Cannabis smoke filling the air and a cup full with cider, beer and/or wine. I don't smoke at all and I typically drink on average once, maybe twice, a week at most, so this fog of characters and chemicals put me into a freedom daze that I hadn't felt since before college.

Now I am on week 2.  I have an entrepreneur's mind, so I have already thought of countless ways for everyone here to make more money (however they seem to giggle them off as petty silly ways to an ego). I watch these ideas float through, only putting my attachment to a few that seem solid and stick. So far 2 have stuck. One is to interview a local shop owner. The other is to email one specific sentence to a soon to be close friend. For me that is a HUGE deal! For someone who jots down every idea and tries to chase after them like they are money trees or dark chocolate covered salted almonds ( YUM), it is very hard to let ideas go and only pay attention to the ones that seem most important to my wellbeing.( I'll try to keep this attribute with me when I return to my daily life. It is very freeing. )

The place I am staying in reminds me of a hostel in another county. And I mean that in the best way possible! it is clean in the important areas, but dusty and well…the toilets stink. We had to replace the shower curtain on day one! There are four people sharing the house with my husband and I and 2 more coming this week. There is one guy camping outside under the gazebo. Each day 2-6 other people drop in to work. And between that so many characters call and stop by adding their own spin to the intense drama.  The food we are making is amazing! (GREAT recipes coming soon!) I love all the people we have with us! Everyone is such a character. Through the shit talking and bouts of frustration , you can tell there is a sense of loving family and security. We are about 8 miles from town, then down a dirt road for about 1 mile into the forest. One of our neighbors is an ex-con who is the sweetest, most talkative, cheery person (and precise pencil and pointillism artists) I have ever met. The other neighbor lives with his wife is a beautiful house he built, filled with wood and glass work he creates ( plIus he is a film actor and straight shooter).  No phone. Spotty internet. fresh, sunny outdoors…ahhh!

Anyhow, so now I have 1.5 weeks left on this non-adventure adventure and I am loving every minute of it. I am now engaged partially, although i'm still trying to keep my personality at bay. My personality, or should I say personalities, so needed a rest!

I use to do this all the time growing up. By 'this' I mean allowing my ego/personality to sit on the side lines as I totally explore another being's life and lifestyle. In fact in middle school I even traded lives with a friend for a week for a science project. I was Julie for one whole week and she was Leila. I lived at her house, went to her classes, took her exams, and she did the same for me. People called me Julie ( even her sister, brother and parents). Her life was filled with school, cleaning and boardgames. The life she had taken over for me was filled with school, piano lessons, hebrew school, and karate. When we traded back lives she told me "I had no ideas you had a crazy life!" To me her life was simple and easy. It was nice for a week but I do love the craziness of excitement in the mind and adventure of learning and traveling into other realms of experiencing.

As one gets older it seems the only way to truly get out of the self is by mind altering substances that force the self/ personality/ego to step aside. But for me it is necessary to keep that flexibility of the self naturally. My motto is a flexible mind is a flexible body.  But as Karl Jansen M.D., Ph.D. wrote "It’s good to have an open mind, but not so open that your brain falls out."


… until next time. Ketamine: Dreams and Realities

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Plastic Self

"The body is a plastic instrument ." Quote from page 54 of "As a Man Thinketh".  What does James Allen mean by plastic instrument? Plastic from experience? Do i feel plastic? … Usually when i feel plastic i associate it with the water i have ingested from plastic containers. Sometimes i can feel those plastic particles attaching themselves to my inner body. My sister once told me in a harsh tone "sometimes you seem plastic." PLASTIC….. But why plastic and not wood or metal.. PLASTIC…. Perhaps i had become plastic because i like the pink pop of budge gum, shinny pop of lady gaga and madonna. I like the plastic shine of sparkles and water and bight colors.   Regardless of how i attracted this plastic self, i accept it and acknowledge it and now allow it is pass. Because i know we can all be tuned to experience what it is we want to.

So i am a plastic  tool, an instrument  created to tune. A human instrument that can be tuned like a musical instrument. We can all be tuned to experience the greater self. That is what i am doing when i teach yoga and dance and give massage. That is even what i am doing as i perform and draw you into my realm. I am tuning you and myself and together we harmonize, vibrating on a high level of acceptance and creativity. I am turning you and myself to the highest, most beautiful self that we can be at this moment. This plastic instrument can be cracked and a human can rise out of its shell.

I am all things and particles i have ingested through my breath, belly, eyes, ears and skin. I am the plastic from the water bottles, the earth from organic veggies, the pollution in the air, the oil in the water. Through my senses I have witnessed, tasted , touched, heard and experienced all i've exposed myself to and ALL THAT HAS BECOME ME. The food i ingest is me, the air in my city, the pollution in my home, the love i surround myself with, the tears dropped because of me and from me, the fears i've allowed to seep in, the TV i choose to watch, the media and commercials that rap my mind: That has all become me.

The fabric woven together with all my loving friends and family is definitely me. Now this instrument has become creaked and emerged from it a new instrument  that is sensitive to this realty we've created. It is breaking me down to the core of tears and sorrow only to rebuild into strength and acceptance. I once had unconditional love for all things good and evil: the sunrise and the trash. Now i have unconditional love for the being within that is sleeping within each of us. The "Sleeping Giant".  Underneath the plastic of our American society is a true breath of life awaiting to breathe the fresh crisp air of dawn. It is waiting to tune the body into your human instrument. That will be expressed differently for each of us. Some will create visions of beauty, some visions of gore. When expressed truly from that Human Being then all is pure and in tune with all.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Nature’s oil painting

Oct 4, 2010. Monday morning. San Diego weather is unpredictable. Santa Anna’s have passed along with being immersed in an oil painting of blues and oranges reflecting from the sky and water. Dolphins passed. Paddle boarders glided by and gaggles of surfers clothed in thick black neoprene sat on boards floating on liquid glass.  The moment’s texture was thick and sensual. Nature’s creativity brushing strokes of oil colors meshing, brightening, and accenting the blood orange sun as it set behind the deep blue ocean, reflecting itself on the ocean’s surface, painting the scenery with serenity.   My inner child alive with adventure was caught silenced as nature in all its awe communicated beauty and restfulness. My body numb from the ocean’s chill. Small humps of waves passed eye level and the sun was gone leaving only the memory of light. Waves woke and began to crash giving us ocean lovers a last chance to play before night fall.  

And now on Monday morning I am reminded of that humid, almost tropical, week and long for months of that. But here is San Diego the gloom of grey clouds settles and mist falls on to bare faces and hands.  The news always complains “it’s too hot. Too cold. Too Grey.” This morning they said “it’s unpredictable.” But it seems to me that ever year the same weather passes through.  Maybe that is the great thing about San Diego. That everyone is in the bliss space where waves wash away past moments leaving us in the NOW. If that is the case then I am glad to be in a state of unpredictability.