Woman Thinketh

Activate Your Health and Your Spirit

2012-02-23T20:42:00.000-08:00

Life is filled with adventure, health, food, sensuality, silliness, fun, philosophy, love, culture and imagination.

Share in the abundance and activate your health and spirit.

As we are breaking out of our robot shells we begin to feel the human experience. We are loosening the bricks in the architecture of our minds and beginning to feel the celestial beings living in this human body. As we experience our deep selves, and begin to really FEEL this human experience,we allow the garden of our hearts to flourish and take over the machine. In doing so we give permission to nature to take over the walls and buildings we have created internally and we begin to regain balance.

We are here because we chose to be here. We are here because we choose to be here. Liven up your life. Loosen up your life and feel! Doing so will require you to analyze your values, morals and day-to-day responses. In turn this will cause you to step out of your routine and breathe. It is frightening and there maybe some ugly hellish realities to face, but in the end there is always beauty and love. In the end all of nature will open up its arms and embrace the child and his/her dreams.

Artist: Akira Chan www.akirachanarts.com

Are you ready to start living the life you deserve? Are you ready to embrace all that life has to offer? It all starts NOW, within you. It all starts with a deep breath of appreciation for all you are and all you have experienced.

Follow these 10 steps to change your life.

Step one: Breathe.

Step two: Say to yourself "I love you"

Step three: Repeat that for eternity in your mind and allow it to erase fear doubt and self loathing

Step four: Say to yourself "I forgive you"

Step five: Repeat that for eternity sending it throughout your body and allow it to bring back blocked memories within your body.

Step six: Stay here for a while forgiving your self for being human and begin to feel.

Step seven: Say to your self "I am sorry"

Step eight: Find the child within and apologize for any harm you have done. Call the child back into your being and vow to protect her/him from here on out.

Step nine: Repeat all the steps together, intertwining them all; feeling where they take you.

Step ten: It's okay and natural to feel. It is okay to be afraid. It is okay to face the perceived ugliness within. I forgive you. I love you. I accept your apology with an open heart. We are one. I feel you! And I will be here with beauty on the other end armored in love.

Artist: Hal Marcus www.halmarcus.com

Watch this video by my sister, Adelaide, and film maker Akira Chan. You will enjoy this!

Unleash the feminine divine through dance

2012-01-24T12:14:00.000-08:00

The following is meant to be read like a poetic prose.

When I dance, I allow all I thought should be, could be, will be, has been, go. I allow all time to slip away. My only clock is the heart beat within the drum. My only fuel is the wind of the strings. My only attachment to this earth is the physical body I dance within.

When I dance, all emotion flows through me and the crystalline body dissolves into water crystals of love. The music helps carry the gunk from my bones and flows it into the ether where all is neutral, leaving me an open source for healing.

When I dance, I set boundaries of protection around my stage with eyes of fire and breathe of wisdom. I create liquid chi fields of energy that absorb goo and transform it to peace.

When I dance, I caress the meridians of the audience and smooth out blocked passages of light. With mudras and form, I spring tendons of negativity out of their aura leaving room for joy.

When I dance, vibrations of sacred geometry resonate in my body, intensifying my projection of gratitude to the music.

When I dance I unleash the goddess of me. When I dance I release the authentic me. When I dance I simply am me..... So what's the difference between the dancing me and the everyday me? Where did the separateness settle in and when did I put "me" in a staged box of performing?

On stage I found a perfect way to be present inside the moment. But it isn't just me, it's the musicians as well, we are all present in that performance moment together and we create it together. In that moment of performance all chakras are spinning, kundalini is rising and our bodies are in tune with it self and each other. By choosing to be in that moment together, we have chosen to be tethered to time by the drum, to be fueled by the strings and be attached to the earth only by our physical form.

On stage I found the perfect way to bring the audience on the journey with us by creating emotional awareness of movements that hypnotize the viewer in empathy. From stage I feel their excitement, their jealousy, their love, their sexuality, their insecurity. When I dance I am able to guide that emotion into the ether of neutral acceptance of humanity. .... So why just on stage?

Because on stage we have all set up a sacred space for performance. We have all ( the musicians, the audience, and myself) set permitters for creation. We have set the allotted time, the allotted energy, the allotted attention span. We have all committed to be in that moment together with the parameters of the reality we are in. Unknowingly we have created a sacred space for connection. (Whether we choose to keep that space sacred is a different story.)

In every day life could we create that same space for authenticity or are their too many walls of resentment for the self within? Is it possible for humanity, as a whole, to look deep enough within to find acceptance for the Human within. The Human is ugly, shy, silly, beautiful, messy, greedy, jealous, lazy, smelly, hungry, childish, lovely, sacred, sweet, sensual, sexual, flirty, crazy, mean, kind, gentle, hurtful, wounded, broken. The human is covered in societal norms and filled with tar. The mind runs in mazes trying to make sense of it all, building walls and rivers just to ease the broken heart. That broken heart: broken by it's own self. Broken by the neglect of self. Broken by the violence of fear. That broken heart cries at night for the simple love of universal oneness. The broken heart craves addiction so that no truth can seep in and unravel the distant self hidden deep within.

In everyday life I could love you. YOU. I could love YOU. I could fall deeply in love with anyone of you and forever be in bliss. And you could love me. We could all be deeply in love with all, even with our hatred. In everyday life I would always be connected .... if you were connected....... You go first...... no wait me.... no wait.... damn I'll see you on stage. and in that moment we will feel the power of chi{life force energy}.

REVISED ENDING 2/7/12: On second thought : I will go first. I LOVE YOU in all your humanity. I love it when you are sad, depressed, angry, emotional, happy, full of life, crazy, silly, down, up, picky, strong, divine, weak, simple, sultry, wild, mundane, silent, authentic. I LOVE YOU always because I know we are all doing our best in every moment to find that solace of life that makes us feel alive. I love you because I love me and I know we are all one. Not only do I love you, but I hear you in every tear, in every laugh , in each breath. I hear your soul awaken and it sparks chi within my core and I feel alive a bit more.

I open my eyes and see that life is not only for performing. Life is for being present in the moment for being raw and wild: Wild as a flower is wild. Wild as a stream is wild. Wild in love with the moment: Growing. Expanding. Nourishing. And just plain being in the element of the moment. Life is about being still and fluid in the moment.

So yes I will go first. I have stepped off stage and into the real of Human. I will still see you on stage and yes that will be grand. And I will see you on the street and that shall be just as grand....if you open your eyes with mine and take the time to notice. I'll see you when you see we are all one in the breathe of stillness. And in that moment we will feel the power of chi{life force energy}.

Nine Seasons: Beyond 2012 : A Manual of Ancient Aztec and Mayan Wisdom

2012-01-23T20:18:00.000-08:00

Nine Seasons: Beyond 2012 : A Manual of Ancient Aztec and Mayan Wisdom
by Carlos Aceves; published by: paso al sol 2011
Book Review, Recipes and Story by Leilainia Penix

Video: Hal Marcus - Tezcatlipoca Codex Videography by: Akira Chan AkiraChanArts.com

"This is a wonderful time to be alive and aware," writes Carlos Aceves in Nine Seasons: Beyond 2012 : A Manual of Ancient Aztec and Mayan Wisdom. "Our ancestors throughout the world spoke of this age over 5,000 years ago. This is a moment of celebration primarily because we are aware of the infinite possibilities." Aceves is a teacher and author. His Nahuatl name is Yolohuitzcalotl, which means crow with a hummingbird for a heart. He believes each day is a moment for celebration because we "have an opportunity to change the vibration of human existence and redirect our connection to Mother Earth and the Great Spirit." He teaches that "being grateful is the beginning of celebration."

The book is an amazing manual for this human existence. I was blown away at how simple yet meaningful and to the point this ancient wisdom is. It hit to the core of the human form discussing the energetic process within the womb, our journey to death and everything in between. It starts out full of numerology, which was a bit overwhelming, but as Aceves continues to explain the knowledge carried down from the ancient ones the numerology made more sense and the wisdom within the numbers was made clear.

There is a full chapter dedicated to the Seven Warrior Foods. At the top of the Seven Warrior Foods pyramid are Maiz (corn), Ayotli (squash), and Etl (beans). Then there is Metl (maguey or agave), Nopal (cactus), Chilli (chile), and Huactli (amaranth).

"Over five thousand years ago, the people of central Mexico decided the birth date of corn," Aceves writes. "They made a covenant with a thistle-like plant called teocentli so that she would transform in a way that would feed the people and that they would always plant her seeds. In this way both species would survive." The ancients had a special heart-felt relationship with all the plants in their lives. "Our ancients asked permission from a plant when cutting any part of it." They even called the Nopal ( cactus) plant "Tree of Life".

In honor of the ancient ones, on 11-11-11 my husband, Gabriel Penix and I catered a ceremony in Escondido, California, for 47 people. The ceremony was led under the stars around a fire pit by a shaman (Dr. John) and was adorned with fire dancers (The Shimmy Sisters and Riff). The next part of the evening was held in a yurt where a casual explanation of the importance of 2012 by Dr. Duncan Earl and Artist Hal Marcus was given. On cue as we entered the yurt, the clouds began to roll over the mountains and rain began to purify the land. Everyone settled into the cushions, carpets and comforters and allowed the knowledge to settle in as I danced the transformation into 2012. I danced the removing of the mask that needs to happen in order for us to step into this new paradigm where we are able to see the clear path of light. Through dance I tuned the meridians of the community with mudras and movements and left the room lifted with a beautiful healing aroma. And when the morning sun peaked through the curtains it woke the bodies and we all gave thanks to the land with a walk in the orchards where we picked fruits, avocados, and nuts and created a plant powered breakfast potluck.
*** check out photos from the 11-11-11 event on facebook.

The emergence into 2012 has been filled with blessings of knowledge coming from listening to the inner light within and stepping outside into nature. As Aceves says "In nature [Mesoamericans] found lessons that taught them a healthy path for living. The basic duties and functions of humankind, such as breathing, drinking, eating, sleeping,or love making are integral to our relationship with Mother Creation."

Learn more about the Seven Warrior Foods in Nine Seasons: Beyond 2012 : A Manual of Ancient Aztec and Mayan Wisdom "Buy the Book It is a great guide to interpreting our journey as humankind. http://www.halmarcus.com/artbook.html

"Long ago people practiced the Tao. They maintained balance of the body and mind. It is not surprising that they were able to live over one hundred years." ~ The Neijin Suwen

For recipes I created for the 11-11-11 ceremony check out our food Blog at http://www.plantpoweredliving.com

Maiz Salada (Corn Salad) Nopalitos (Cactus)

"The Doctor of the future will no longer treat the human frame with drugs, but rather will cure and prevent disease with nutrition." -Thomas Edison

Dia de Los Muertos / Day of the Dead

2011-12-12T15:22:00.001-08:00

Day of the Dead / Dia de Los Muertos

Los Cabos / San Juan

Nov 1, 2011 : The day children sprit return if called upon.

"Become friends with death," I heard a shaman say once, "it's the shaman's way. Like a best friend, death is always there sitting right next to you." I use to have a seductive romance with death. This dark gothic love for the once known now forgotten was romantically cupeled with deep fear. Now, my relationship with death seems friendly and respectful. "I see you," i told the spirit when i say it sitting patently in the corner of my mind. "I recognize you as death. Come forward and stop lurking my my shadow." A few days later death did come to the forefront with flashing images of skeletons. " I see you," I told the spirit. " I recognize you as death. Stop trying to instill fear around who you are. Come forward and be friendly."

In befriending death my fear of life has lifted and I feel as if death helps me see reality a bit clearer. With fear of death and fear of life lightened my mind can accurately access situations in a clear elegant way, which adds wisdom to my steps, were before emotion may had been.

In building this relationship with death I recognize that each one of my beloved friends and family could be taken at each moment and that I could be taken from them at each second. I realize that all things are living and all things can die. I realize that death is only a death of ego, form and personality, but not of energy as a whole. I realize death is only rebirth into something new and what remains is your energy imprint you left on this plane of existence.

It was so appropriate that in gaining this new insight and friendship, that I was placed in Cabo San Lucas on Nov 1. A friend Paulina had hired me to perform as a mermaid in a private event at the Hilton San Juan on Nov 2. So Nov 1 i was traveling with her through her day. It lead us to her children's motesory school at 7pm for a Dia De Los Muertos gathering. Children ran around the mock grave yard as parents stood around the tombstones talking. Paulina explained that each child had made their own tomb stone. "Here in Mexico we kind of make fun of death," she said. "So each child made a tomb stone and wrote their own obituary." Candles were lit at each tomb stone, some where created more like alters than tomb stones and a few people were dressed in traditional Dia De Los Muertos outfits with skull faced painted.

To me it looked like this:

On this day, Nov 1, the spirit of children had a chance to return to the place they once walked upon the earth. Now, centuries later, the graveyard was empty of humans, which left a beautiful area for all the spirits to play with each other again, remembering what it was like to once be in human form and frolic with the senses.

We left and went to the center of town to see a performance. Traditional Aztec dancers performed their warrior dance. Ballerinas choreographed a beautiful seduction with death. Poetry was written, fire was spun, and they story of Mexico's future, present and past was shared through art.

To me it looked like this:

Humans gather to be part of the community and watch gladly as artists pour their passion into the moment. The artists dance with the idea that the spirits are watching and that maybe Frida Kahlo will make a appearance at her alter and see how much she was loved. Artists dance to express their need for change knowing that we only have a few breaths on this land and we must make those breaths meaningful. Drums Drum, Music plays, fire spins, dancers leap all in hope that in that moment we all become free of fear and step into a reality filled with life.

The day was over and we head home. Death in the form of Karma came to me in my dream. It showed me that in all the possible actions I make, each once creates an imprint in my mind and soul and that imprint guides my next action/reaction.

I awake hoping I have many more breathes to take with those I love and with nature. "Death i see you. Take this journey of life together with me and at the end we will both be ready to embark on the new journey. But first lets live this adventure of love in this existence fully!"

So today is Nov 2 . Dia De Los Muertos the day to call upon the adult spirits. I take this day to call upon all those I love, dead and alive, and celebrate YOUR spirit. Your time here on earth is beautifully shared within me. I see your spirit swirl around my existence daily. Thank you for helping me on the journey of existence and for creating in me love!

Dragon of Light

2011-08-24T11:32:00.000-07:00

Surrounded by my closest fiends and family, I stood in a canyon looking up at the high edge of stone and sand. The night was black with a hit of looming purples and grays. We were all frozen in terror by the sounds of the dominating dragon stomping our way. He was all that a dominate, aggressive dragon should be and the entire human civilization lived enslaved by the fear he protruded. As each step came closer our way our energy shrank and spirit hid. I could see the side of his face and body as he got closer to the edge. The sky rumbled. All his slaves looked up into the night sky which began to fill with the aurora borealis. In all his majesty and ego The dragon growled with wild anger. A huge comet shot down from the cosmos straight for the dragon, hit him in the solar plexus and continued on it's way , taking him with it , into the cosmos. In shock and relief all human beings went from frozen terror, to frozen disbelief, to frozen joy. Just then a light was heading toward us from the cosmos. A yellow, white, orange dragon made of light gently stepped onto earth. As he walked past us all to his dragon lair he said "You are all now Free." All human jumped for joy and yelled in celebration.

I turned to my family and friends, "Lets go meet him" , at which, we began a long adventure filled with travels, cultures, and the elements. When we finally found the dragon's lair we found DJ's playing, people dancing, musicians creating and an amazing rave in this huge cavern. We passed through the edge of the cavern, up the mazes and finally came upon a beautiful buddhist temple where the dragon lay resting. Absent of words, I snuggled up to him and shared his light with my light.

As I woke from this dream into reality, I caught myself in that space between awake and dreaming, I recalled this dream and mediated on it deeply. Then a hand appeared to me, offering me a ball of light. I took the ball of light and instinctively began to put it into my husbands heart center. Then I stopped. "Wait is this for me?" I energetically felt the answer: "Listen to your instincts." I continued to place the ball of light into my husbands heart center. To the right and behind me was a cloaked character waiting patently.

It seems in reptiles come to my in vivid dreams during transformative times in my life. They are Wise, Powerful, symbolize the beginning of a new spiritual insight.

I felt this vision of a dark, ego driven reality being blasted away by the cosmos and replaced with a compassionate, spiritual light being in power is very powerful imagery to visualize as we move into the next stage of civilization and humanity. As we come upon Oct 28, 2011 and into 2012, visualize our reality void of unconscious ego and filled with light beings of freedom.

The mermaid within is asking for healing.

2011-07-29T12:14:00.000-07:00

I write to you today from the mermaid within that is asking for healing.

I hope you can join us in a ocean mediation, which guides us into the ocean. We will gift the ocean, and all it's living beings, our love imprint. This is a gift to us, to all of our children so that they may share space with dolphins and fish, and to the water itself, to remind it that we have not forgotten it's importances in this realm of earth.

“Over the centuries, humankind has constantly robbed from the earth, and left it ever more polluted – the history of which is recorded by water. Now, water is beginning to speak to us. Through water crystals, it is telling us what we need to know.” Dr. Masaru Emoto, The Hidden Messages in Water (Page 152)

Who: Those interested in being present with the healing power within the human form and open to sharing that with nature.

What: Ocean Meditation

When: Ever time you find your self at the beach and/or in water.

Why: Because the human being is a powerful conductor of healing love.
How: Ground your feet into the sand (imagine you are a stone earthed deep into the sand). Take deep breaths from the depth of your belly. Begin to think positive thoughts that heal all that is around you. Rub your hands together and place within them your intention for the ocean. With your intention and imagination spiral that energy into the ocean so that every water crystal will form into healing love crystals and so that every being that comes across that energy field may be forever wrapped in that healing love energy.

I had a intense talk with the ocean as Saturday night disappeared and Sundays slowly settled in. (7/2-3/11) The conversation was one of simple truth and despair. It has left me feeling very disillusioned by humanity. And I must clarify this now: Humanity has been misinformed. We have always thought that the oceans, rivers, and streams were filters. They are not the worlds filter. We humans are! and instead of filtering love, healing, gratitude, and light, we as a society have been filtering darkness, junk, gloom, disease, grease, oil, smelly shit, forever lasting disposable plastics…We take in all of life and filter out sludge. We have polluted our life force with greed, gluttony and ignorance. Our oceans can not take it any more.This great pollution scale has tipped and we forgot to do our part. We forgot that the flowing energy through our astral bodies, physical bodies, minds, blood and water ( all which flows through our human being) filters so much more than any other thing in this universe. Our bodies are the mega filters.

Water is our life force and without it we'd be nonexistent. Water is the main source that makes us US , that makes plants, that makes kitties and birds and dolphins, it's all based on water. I might even dare say that our soul is made of water and without it our soul, yes even our soul, will dehydrate.

Everything eventually ends up in the ocean. And the ocean is now covered in hopeless despair. Can we change it? Can we do anything? Is it toto late? Maybe. Maybe not... In a moment of anxiety Dr. Masaru Emoto, author of The Hidden Messages in Water, gives me a bit of hope:

"The human body is comprised mostly of water. And it’s common knowledge that much of the water in the world today – including the tap water many people drink on a daily basis – is polluted, tainted, and toxic. Everything in the universe – from the stars to the shoes on your feet – generates its own unique vibratory frequency. Because vibrations create sound, they can be measured by water, a “master listener” (pg. 43). Using this theoretical structure, Dr. Emoto exposed different kinds of water (e.g., tap, filtered, spring) to different sounds, words, and images, and then photographed the crystals that resulted when each water sample was frozen. The results are quite amazing: Purified or spring water presented with beautiful music and kind words created the most delicate, lovely, and shapely crystals; harsh music, words, and images resulted in deformed, distorted or otherwise imperfect crystals. Distilling this information into practical use, Dr. Emoto’s message indicates that purifying the water within us – from which we are made – is the way to achieve health and happiness. Dr. Emoto’s work strongly suggests that encouraging a life of positive emotions – especially love and gratitude – is what is necessary to not only transform the water within us, but the world outside."

He goes on to prove "that tap and polluted water produced malformed, misshapen crystals regardless of the words, pictures or music directed at it." This I think we can prove to be wrong. We know our power of love as a group. We know our love imprint has been cast and has been acknowledged by the divine universal law. It is powerful together.

“If we fill our lives with love and gratitude for all, this consciousness will become a wonderful power that will spread throughout the world. And this is what water crystals are trying to tell us.” - Dr. Masaru Emoto, The Hidden Messages in Water (Page 146)

Love Light Leilainia

http://mymermaids.com

Allow life to blossom into a love light lotus!

1 Giant Leap

2011-06-25T14:53:00.000-07:00

Politics continue to run communities into mind boggling mazes of illusion, depression and imprisonment. They stop the natural progression of evolution by enslaving us into obedient adolescence. In order to live free we need to act out of love and compassion. That's it! When neighbors are kind and helpful to each other we build community and are free from greed. Freedom is not an individualistic idea. It is a community of open hearted, intelligent beings working together to fill each others souls. I can't even begin to express myself as well as I'd like, so, I'll let "1 Giant Leap" do it for me. They continue to inspire!

LISTEN NOW : 1 GIANT LEAP : What I Need Is Something Different

In what small ways do you heal the world? Please share.

These clips are also inspiring:

ZEITGEIST

Barefoot Economics

Red Bear Girl

2011-06-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

Modern fear is a delusion. When was the last time you were really scared? Think about it? Wikipedia describes fear as: Fear from the Greek meaning "morbid fear", a distressing negative sensation induced by a perceived threat. A perceived threat… But it seems as if these days our perceived threats are all over the place. In the airport, at home, in the office, driving. The media pumps us with terrorist threats, the economy creates stress-inducing fears, and the movies paint pictures of horrid murderous threats. (Thanks to “Pshyco” there is the threat of someone breaking into my bathroom while I'm in the shower. Thanks to “Jaws” there’s the threat of man-eating sharks in the ocean.) Think about it for a moment, when was they last time you where really fearful for your life? Not a delusional fear that was preempted by the media or a modern myth, but a real in your face fear? How many of us have actually been in a hostile situation caused by a terrorist, a shark, or a bathroom murderer?

I bring this up because on June 11, I found real fear for the first time. It was an awe inspiring, beautiful, respectful fear that has forever changed every atom in my being. Upon hiking on our land in Ruidoso, New Mexico, I met a mother bear. I turned a corner and there she was about 7 feet in front of me. She turned her head to look at me and we locked eyes. My core tightened immediately and my center of gravity grounded. I was highly alert. Thoughts raced: Pick up a stick. Get big. Don’t run. Stand your ground. She’s so beautiful. Wow. Can I get closer? What does she feel like? Why would she harm me? She doesn’t want to harm me. She is a vegetarian mostly… Is her baby is near?

I had seen the baby bear earlier. At dusk I stepped out of the cabin and the baby nearly walked straight up to me. My friend pulled at my arm and yelled, “Get in the house! Get in the house!” But I was intrigued and not at all frightened. She we so cute and sweet. My friend tugged at me again. Her fear crept into my arm and we ran into the cabin. I was left feeling rude, as if I had cut my conversation with the baby abruptly short because of a mental dilemma of my own. I decided if I were to ever be in this situation again, I would fully feel the moment without distraction and act authentic to the present moment. I would not have True Reality be diluted by delusion of what could be or what was once.

So there I was 7 feet from the momma bear. Our eyes locked. I quieted my mind and listened. As she gave me a calm look over, her eyes said, “Really? Are you really going to follow me?” My strong shoulders caved in a bit and my body responded “no, no.” I slowly began to walk backwards back to where I came from. She did not move. When she was out of sight, I did pick up a big branch and slowly, and deliberate with each step, walked back to the cabin. My family at the cabin stared at me from the porch as I neared. They said my steps where like a Jedi, my face held terror, excitement, joy and awe. My father gave me the name Red Bear Girl. I felt so accomplished within my self. In the face of danger, I actually was able to calm, assess, listen, face the present, and respond in a respectable way. This feeling has stayed strong within ever since. I will forever be protected by the lessons of the bear and her baby.

What was intimidating about the moment wasn’t that I felt I would be eaten, or harmed, but it was the powerful wild nature of wilderness, the unknowing of what could be, the energy exchange of consciously creating a moment fully together with another wild being. The Bear said “Really are we going to explore this moment further?” and I responded. “No thank you. This is quite enough for me.” And we were both on our way. I truly felt a respect for the wild endless possibilities.

So, when was the last time you were really scared? tell me about it.

Dreams help guide me to peace

2010-12-21T15:21:00.000-08:00

I had this sad hurtful dream last night about my sister.

I was standing up for myself by playing the game of seduction. It was keeping me safe from harm. At this my sister sneered at me and said "I would have handled that different." Instead of me asking how different, I got pissed and hurt and separated from her. What followed was a life time of pain and sorrow. I even lost an organ, it just fell out of my body and left me in deep pain. This represented a deep vital part of me was missing. All this happened because I couldn't see the situation from a different perspective. I was so stuck in 'knowing' that i was hurt 'by you' that i forgot to see that it was just a silly difference in perspective. In this dream, I created drama in my life for no reason.

What does all this mean outside of the dream world?

This is what i took from it:

In order to be stress/ drama free and live a full life of peace and happiness i must:

- Conitunlly ask questions

- Don't assume.

- Don't hold grudges.

- Check in and make sure my thoughts are surveying me and guiding me to the positive good or me.

- I must shift perspectives once in a while just to make your sure ego isn't running the show

-My body truly does reflect my internal self. So keep mind and spirit free of stress, worry and drama and body will healthfully thank me for it.

This holiday Season I ask of you, the reader, to think of these simple things as you reconnect with family. Don't loose yourself and another loved one over simple perspective differences. See the world through the eyes of nature and realize we all change like the wind. Allow that change to blow through, and hope the refreshing rain, beautiful rainbows, crisp clean snow and delightful sun will follow.

"I don't want to be in a trance…I want things to change like the shadows and patterns that fall from the sun"- Van Vliet http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Beefheart

OMG a Vegan’s coming to Dinner!

2010-12-19T21:29:00.000-08:00

When my husband Gabriel came home after a 3-week work vacation, he told me he was going back to eating vegan. (He had been vegan 2 years in collage.) Instantly I was frozen with the thought “how am I going to cook for us? What are we going to eat?” For the next few days everything he cooked was amazing but I was still starving! Not because we were not eating enough, but because the word “vegan” created a huge block in my mind.

Let me clear one thing up off the bat: Just because he was eating vegan didn’t mean he wanted me to eat vegan as well. However, in our home I respect his philosophy. I love cooking and eating together, it’s the greatest moments of our days. So in our home I cook vegan.

So he tells me he is eating vegan and I am freaking out and constantly hungry.

“Well, what are you hungry for?” Gabriel asked.

“Pasta!” I said with excitement.

“We can eat pasta. What else?’ he replied.

“A sandwich.”

“ We can eat a sandwich. What else?”

I thought about this for a minute. Then he replied, “We can eat anything we want. I am choosing not to eat anything that comes from an animal. Most pastas and breads don’t have eggs, milk or butter…”

At that, I got a clear picture of what vegan meant: No Animal Products. That makes sense to me. We had already been eating mostly vegetarian and I am lactose intolerant so I hadn’t been eating dairy. Pretty much I had been eating vegan for a while without even knowing it. Now that it is a conscious decision, we are making the BEST FOOD: vegan chocolate mouse, amazing pastas and sandwiches, chili rellenos, stuffed cabbage, vegan sushi, vegan wraps. All these tasty treats have been shared with friends at potlucks and gatherings (sometimes we don’t even tell them it’s vegan until the end of the night.) They are always amazed with how tasty everything is, in fact most of the time they like it better than the non-vegan dishes. Plus I have lost 8 pounds not even tying and pigging out on chocolate, mouse, avocados, coconut products, pizza and so much more!

So if you have a vegan coming to dinner don’t freak out. Here are a few tips to guide you to creating healthy and tasty vegan dishes.

*If you use: NON-VEGAN*	*Use this instead: VEGAN*
Mayonnaise	Vegenaise or other eggless mayonnaise
Cheese	Daiya www.daiyafoods.com Daiya is tapioca based: it melts and is super yummy
Chicken/ Beef Broth	Buy Veggie Broth or Make your own Veggie Broth: Simmer veggies in water. Add salt pepper and olive oil. Stain the vegetables out and wha la you have veggie broth. (You can also add a dash of soy sauce or Braggs)
Butter	Non Dairy Spread: I like “Earth Balance Natural Spread” www.earthbalancenatural.com
Milk	Soy, Almond, Oat, or my favorite Coconut Milk
Hot Dogs	Vegan / Meatless Hot Dogs
Chili or Beans in a can	Vegetarian Chili or Vegetarian Beans in a can
Chocolate	Dark Chocolate
Scrambled Eggs	This one you’ll need to practice a few times to get it right: Tofu, turmeric for color, onions, salt and pepper, mushrooms, tomato, cumin, garlic, jalapeno, oil.
Baked goods that request eggs	egg replacer or chia seeds or apple sauce chia seeds: 3 Tablespoons warm water + 1 teaspoon ground chia seed meal = to 1 egg.

Anything else	Start looking at the labels on the packages. If it has eggs or milk it is not vegan. * Some popular vegetarian items like Morning Star sausages, garden burgers, or some veggie hot dogs may contain cheese and/or eggs.

Are you tying to lose weight?
Cut out soda and dairy for 2 months and see what happens.

Please send me your feedback: Was this helpful? What is it missing?

Here is some useful info from various sources:

What about the protein? (from - http://www.vrg.org/nutrition/protein.htm#r1) Protein is certainly an essential nutrient which plays many key roles in the way our bodies function, we do not need huge quantities of it. In reality, we need small amounts of protein. Only one calorie out of every ten we take in needs to come from protein.

The RDA recommends that we take in about 0.36 grams of protein per pound that we weigh. This recommendation includes a generous safety factor for most people. When we make a few adjustments to account for some plant proteins being digested somewhat differently from animal proteins and for the amino acid mix in some plant proteins, we arrive at a level of 0.45 grams of protein per pound that we weigh. If we look at what vegans are eating, we find that between 10-12% of calories come from protein. This contrasts with the protein intake of non-vegetarians, which is close to 14-18% of calories.

Remember, though, with protein, more (than the RDA) is not necessarily better. There do not appear to be health advantages to consuming a high protein diet. Diets that are high in protein may even increase the risk of osteoporosis and kidney disease.

Quinoa is a great source of protein: (from http://www.quinoa.net/) Quinoa can be substituted for almost any grain in almost any recipe. It looks and tastes great on its own, or in any dish from soup to salad. Quinoa contains more protein than any other grain; an average of 16.2 percent, compared with 7.5 percent for rice, 9.9 percent for millet, and 14 percent for wheat. Some varieties of quinoa are more than 20 percent protein.   Quinoa's protein is of an unusually high quality. It is a complete protein, with an essential amino acid balance close to the ideal ... similar to milk!   Quinoa's protein is high in lysine, methionine and cystine. This makes it an excellent food to combine with, and boost the protein value of, other grains (which are low in lysine), or soy (which is low in methionine and cystine).

SCHMUCKS and a smokin' hot tattooed sword swallower

2010-12-09T14:04:00.000-08:00

Wednesday, December 8, 2010:
An amazingly hot tattooed sword swallower in a black bustier, black circus capris and shinny black heals that show toe cleavage stands to the left of me talking to a large man in a pinstriped suit with an extreme threshold for pain. Both wear a red flower on their lapel. Her's rest sweetly on her colorful tattooed left breast. She is gathering her swords and placing them in a old violin case. I can only make out a few segments of their conversation. He congratulated her on the show she just completed… She tells him about her life: She is from Reno, moved to LA for a boy, the situation has gone sore so she will shortly be returning home to Reno to make enough money to truly join the circus life of LA. A photographer from the Associated Press sits in the corner working on his Mac laptop, editing photos form the event. Two entertainment organizers sit at the table chatting, eating salad and sipping wine.

We are in the ballroom of the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. Adelaide is stretching in full make up and beautiful blue belly dance costume. I am stretching and writing and observing. " What are you thinking Adelaide?" I ask.
She responds with a sweet smile: "I was thinning about how you told me you have fun with me." About 1 hour ago we had the ballroom to ourselves. We stretched, rolled around on the floor, created silly choreographies and entertained each other. It's true. Every event is way more fun when we are together! Silly sister energy alive!

We drove from San Diego, left at 3pm. Arrived at 6:30. Hair, makeup and wardrobe until 8pm. Silliness until 8:45. Show time is 9pm. Oh wait 9pm is now…

In the lobby (turned secluded dinning area) the cast and media for "DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS" eat dinner, interview and shmooze. We are here to entertain during dessert for the DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS DVD & Blu-ray Dinner for Journalists. Apparently dinner has run late. One of the entertainment organizers leaves the room to get a ETA for our 30 minute dessert performance. "It's an easy night for you girls," he says as he reenters the room. "You have 3 minutes."

"3 minutes until we go on?" I inquire.

" No three minutes to perform. The dinner has run late," he explains. " You'll get paid the same," he smiles.

My sits and I look at each other. We have to cut 30 minutes to 3 minutes! Fast, slow, sword, wings, veils, ….ahhh. We talk him into 4:54 minutes ( a full song). Dessert is being served as we speak.

We decide to go with fiery veils to enter and transition to sultry swords. Our music starts and we are out the door into the dinning area. Beautiful, sensual, fun. Claps from all around.

10 minutes later we are undressing, jumping in the car, driving to Mel's dinner, then back to SD. Adelaide and I chat all the way home about show ideas, philosophy, men, relationships, quantum physics and so much more. I love my sister time! Wow what a fun Wed.

VIEW PHOTOS:
AP Photo Link: http://www.apimages.com/Search.aspx?st=det&sort=date&ids=Dinner%20for%20Schmucks%20DVD%20%26%20Blu-ray%20Dinner%20with%20journalists&showact=events&prds=10002&intv=3d&sh=10&kwstyle=or&adte=1291883686&pagez=60&cfasstyle=AND&

Keep the freedom to do nothing at all alive.

2010-10-26T14:40:00.000-07:00

The core of Timothy Leary’s philosophy and phrases may be summarized as: “You are the owner and operator of your own brain. Free yourself from imprints and robot behavior. Take control of yourself. Question authority, including me.” He failed to foresee that many had no desire to free themselves from their imprints.

I spent about 4 hours yesterday researching everyone and everything on the Election Ballot for Nov 2 , 2010. I found it very difficult to trust who was saying what and why. I checked references, past issues and pretty much anything I could find on each person/ issue. I realized most people ( including the 5 people in the house I am staying in right now) are not going to spend that much time to really figure out what each empty oval means to our city/ state/ county. In fact most people feel so hopeless they won't even vote.

"Why should I?" said one girl sitting on the couch. The guy next to her replies "It's just giving into the system. It's just working into that system that I am against." Humm…If everyone would just ignore the government, then the government wouldn't have the power and backing to do much. In that case, we give no power to a bunch of idiots with guns and bombs and mind games, in which case they will take the power back with fear, violence and mind fucks. Have you watched the TV in the past 7 years? FEAR, VIOLENCE, MIND FUCK all over it!

So I asked the rest of the room "What can we do? What should we do?" Silence from all around. There is a feeling of hopelessness. What can we do? What should we do?

I have no idea! and i'm agitated by this.

I am not political at all! But I do know that there are people in charge who make decisions about where I get my food, how my children will be taught, how clean my streets, air and water is, and how organic my food is. These people decide how much money is going to war and how much money is going to health. These people, that I know nothing about, are controlling what I see on TV and what I hear on the radio, worst yet the government ( and big 'supporters') are controlling the AP Press, which controls all the news we get.

Then I ran into the problem of the actual voting system. If I vote Green, will that take away the vote from the Democrates which could allow a Republican to win? ..AHHH...It's like a chess match.

This leaves most people feeling powerless, which in turn leads them to live their lives on auto pilot, which in turn allows the government to do as they please. Some people think their true vote is in consumerism, which I believe is partially true. (Buy what you believe in. Support who you believe in. Put money into your community and passions.) But I also believe that we can't let the imprints of greedy government settle into our blueprints and into our children's blueprints.

Some people like having the freedom to not care and not participate. I get that. But I also get that we are one generation away from even having the right to vote taken away from us. So we have to vote in order to keep at least that right alive. We may be one generation away from swimming with wild dolphins. One generation away from breathing clean air. One germination away from eating food that does not have Monsanto genes. We have to vote to keep our freedom to breathe clean air, to have good food, have great heath care, to have oceans full of fish and mammals and we have to vote in order to keep the freedom to do nothing at all.

"Be the owner and operator of your own brain. Question authority." People are not supposed to be afraid of their government. The government is suppose to be afraid of its people.

I'm not asking you to free yourself from robot behaviors. I'm asking you to acknowledge that in America we have the luxury to have those robotic behaviors. Vote to keep the quality of that luxury alive.

"Artists lie to tell the truth. Politicians lie to hide it."

- V for Vendetta -

"It’s good to have an open mind, but not so open that your brain falls out."

2010-10-20T17:17:00.001-07:00

I decided to take a 3.5 week break of my life. I thought it was for my husbands sake. But now I see it was ultimately for me. It took 1.5 weeks to totally disengage from my "normal" state of being. As I sat in the lazy boy in another persons home watching other people live there lives in full I had to remind myself that I was just a visiter in their home. That meant that none of the drama was mine or needed to be mine. I had to remind myself that I didn't have to say anything or do anything to better or worsen any situation. I had to totally disengage from myself to fully allow the environment to be in it's "normal" state, as much as could, with me in it. As I lay in bed even, I would disengage: Dogs barking, a falling sliding door and I would think to myself "not my problem" and I would smile and cozy into the sleeping bag even deeper. It also helped that there has been nonstop Cannabis smoke filling the air and a cup full with cider, beer and/or wine. I don't smoke at all and I typically drink on average once, maybe twice, a week at most, so this fog of characters and chemicals put me into a freedom daze that I hadn't felt since before college.

Now I am on week 2. I have an entrepreneur's mind, so I have already thought of countless ways for everyone here to make more money (however they seem to giggle them off as petty silly ways to an ego). I watch these ideas float through, only putting my attachment to a few that seem solid and stick. So far 2 have stuck. One is to interview a local shop owner. The other is to email one specific sentence to a soon to be close friend. For me that is a HUGE deal! For someone who jots down every idea and tries to chase after them like they are money trees or dark chocolate covered salted almonds ( YUM), it is very hard to let ideas go and only pay attention to the ones that seem most important to my wellbeing.( I'll try to keep this attribute with me when I return to my daily life. It is very freeing. )

The place I am staying in reminds me of a hostel in another county. And I mean that in the best way possible! it is clean in the important areas, but dusty and well…the toilets stink. We had to replace the shower curtain on day one! There are four people sharing the house with my husband and I and 2 more coming this week. There is one guy camping outside under the gazebo. Each day 2-6 other people drop in to work. And between that so many characters call and stop by adding their own spin to the intense drama. The food we are making is amazing! (GREAT recipes coming soon!) I love all the people we have with us! Everyone is such a character. Through the shit talking and bouts of frustration , you can tell there is a sense of loving family and security. We are about 8 miles from town, then down a dirt road for about 1 mile into the forest. One of our neighbors is an ex-con who is the sweetest, most talkative, cheery person (and precise pencil and pointillism artists) I have ever met. The other neighbor lives with his wife is a beautiful house he built, filled with wood and glass work he creates ( plIus he is a film actor and straight shooter). No phone. Spotty internet. fresh, sunny outdoors…ahhh!

Anyhow, so now I have 1.5 weeks left on this non-adventure adventure and I am loving every minute of it. I am now engaged partially, although i'm still trying to keep my personality at bay. My personality, or should I say personalities, so needed a rest!

I use to do this all the time growing up. By 'this' I mean allowing my ego/personality to sit on the side lines as I totally explore another being's life and lifestyle. In fact in middle school I even traded lives with a friend for a week for a science project. I was Julie for one whole week and she was Leila. I lived at her house, went to her classes, took her exams, and she did the same for me. People called me Julie ( even her sister, brother and parents). Her life was filled with school, cleaning and boardgames. The life she had taken over for me was filled with school, piano lessons, hebrew school, and karate. When we traded back lives she told me "I had no ideas you had a crazy life!" To me her life was simple and easy. It was nice for a week but I do love the craziness of excitement in the mind and adventure of learning and traveling into other realms of experiencing.

As one gets older it seems the only way to truly get out of the self is by mind altering substances that force the self/ personality/ego to step aside. But for me it is necessary to keep that flexibility of the self naturally. My motto is a flexible mind is a flexible body. But as Karl Jansen M.D., Ph.D. wrote "It’s good to have an open mind, but not so open that your brain falls out."

… until next time. Dreams and Realities

"It’s good to have an open mind, but not so open that your brain falls out."

2010-10-20T12:28:00.001-07:00

The Plastic Self

2010-10-13T15:19:00.000-07:00

"The body is a plastic instrument ." Quote from page 54 of "As a Man Thinketh". What does James Allen mean by plastic instrument? Plastic from experience? Do i feel plastic? … Usually when i feel plastic i associate it with the water i have ingested from plastic containers. Sometimes i can feel those plastic particles attaching themselves to my inner body. My sister once told me in a harsh tone "sometimes you seem plastic." PLASTIC….. But why plastic and not wood or metal.. PLASTIC…. Perhaps i had become plastic because i like the pink pop of budge gum, shinny pop of lady gaga and madonna. I like the plastic shine of sparkles and water and bight colors. Regardless of how i attracted this plastic self, i accept it and acknowledge it and now allow it is pass. Because i know we can all be tuned to experience what it is we want to.

So i am a plastic tool, an instrument created to tune. A human instrument that can be tuned like a musical instrument. We can all be tuned to experience the greater self. That is what i am doing when i teach yoga and dance and give massage. That is even what i am doing as i perform and draw you into my realm. I am tuning you and myself and together we harmonize, vibrating on a high level of acceptance and creativity. I am turning you and myself to the highest, most beautiful self that we can be at this moment. This plastic instrument can be cracked and a human can rise out of its shell.

I am all things and particles i have ingested through my breath, belly, eyes, ears and skin. I am the plastic from the water bottles, the earth from organic veggies, the pollution in the air, the oil in the water. Through my senses I have witnessed, tasted , touched, heard and experienced all i've exposed myself to and ALL THAT HAS BECOME ME. The food i ingest is me, the air in my city, the pollution in my home, the love i surround myself with, the tears dropped because of me and from me, the fears i've allowed to seep in, the TV i choose to watch, the media and commercials that rap my mind: That has all become me.

The fabric woven together with all my loving friends and family is definitely me. Now this instrument has become creaked and emerged from it a new instrument that is sensitive to this realty we've created. It is breaking me down to the core of tears and sorrow only to rebuild into strength and acceptance. I once had unconditional love for all things good and evil: the sunrise and the trash. Now i have unconditional love for the being within that is sleeping within each of us. The "Sleeping Giant". Underneath the plastic of our American society is a true breath of life awaiting to breathe the fresh crisp air of dawn. It is waiting to tune the body into your human instrument. That will be expressed differently for each of us. Some will create visions of beauty, some visions of gore. When expressed truly from that Human Being then all is pure and in tune with all.

Nature’s oil painting

2010-10-04T14:00:00.000-07:00

Oct 4, 2010. Monday morning. San Diego weather is unpredictable. Santa Anna’s have passed along with being immersed in an oil painting of blues and oranges reflecting from the sky and water. Dolphins passed. Paddle boarders glided by and gaggles of surfers clothed in thick black neoprene sat on boards floating on liquid glass. The moment’s texture was thick and sensual. Nature’s creativity brushing strokes of oil colors meshing, brightening, and accenting the blood orange sun as it set behind the deep blue ocean, reflecting itself on the ocean’s surface, painting the scenery with serenity. My inner child alive with adventure was caught silenced as nature in all its awe communicated beauty and restfulness. My body numb from the ocean’s chill. Small humps of waves passed eye level and the sun was gone leaving only the memory of light. Waves woke and began to crash giving us ocean lovers a last chance to play before night fall.

And now on Monday morning I am reminded of that humid, almost tropical, week and long for months of that. But here is San Diego the gloom of grey clouds settles and mist falls on to bare faces and hands. The news always complains “it’s too hot. Too cold. Too Grey.” This morning they said “it’s unpredictable.” But it seems to me that ever year the same weather passes through. Maybe that is the great thing about San Diego. That everyone is in the bliss space where waves wash away past moments leaving us in the NOW. If that is the case then I am glad to be in a state of unpredictability.

You are the me I’m going to be. A Vivid Dream.

2010-09-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

FORWARD: The other night I had an amazingly vivid dream. Dreams have a specific feeling and texture to them and remembering them (much less relaying them) can be twisted. In order to record this experience I began to research, which lead me to Chakra Teleportation, Time Travel and the existence of Bardo. (Info on that is at the bottom.)

Here is a cool video that captures the exact feel of the dream : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkGeOWYOFoA

I hope you enjoy the read. And please share your thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Through twisted wormholes and kaleidoscopes of different realities I traveled searching for a home for my energy self. For a moment I was pushed through a wormhole into a ..?

What am I?

My texture is non organic and I have a tough stickiness to me. I can semi feel cold water of the ocean splash over and move around me. I cannot see anything except the glimmer of light shinning off of my plastic self, reflecting from the moonlight. I cannot speak or smell. The only sense I have is being.

I am a piece of plastic. A part of a plastic soda can ring container floating in the ocean.

Through the twisted wormhole at the speed of light, into my next self and I find my peers. All four of them with their heads so far away from me. Our heads are connected to fabric that is being weaved together into a blanket by a machine that we cannot see. It is simply a beautiful feeling: comforting and cozy like a loving warm cuddle. I can feel the texture of each fabric weaving into me: Burlap. Silk. Cotton. Banana leaves. Duvetyn. Smiles all around from the round heads at the ends of the fabric.

Through the twisted wormhole:

Here I am looking out into the world and see space. Nothing but space. The feeling: I am glamorous and self-absorbed with happiness. I am hogging all the limelight as I flaunt my fabulous, famous self to all space around me. My energy swims around my ‘body’. I am pink. I am wearing sunglasses. And I have a huge pink ass. Wait for it…. Oh my gaud! I am a huge thanksgiving parade style floating Miss Piggy. Seriously! I laugh at the obscurity. Yep. I’m just floating solely in the atmosphere in love with myself in all my glamour. I laugh and giggle and enjoy the silliness.

A beautiful kaleidoscopic twist and here I am:

I am ME. In my physical body standing. There is a grid all around me with buttons, knobs, leavers, switches and scales. It is like an 1800’s steam punk machine that is huge. I am just seeing a portion of it. I am moving dials and pushing buttons and sliding pressure gages with my body and hands. With each new position of my body or finger mudra I am tuning into specific channels and stations.

Off into another reality. This time there is no twist. Just straight up. And I am a huge entity. So huge I cannot see my self. I am light and airy. I am the creator. I am ME: the engineer of my world. I am building a huge machine that we are all a part of. A huge industrial machine with wheels and technology, steel and clocks, pressure gages…the works! Wow. This is the Me I a want to be! My physical body points at this great engineer and I say out loud “ You are the me I’m going to be.”

Wormhole to physical reality for a bit. I awake.

Wait is this reality? Am I awake? I see my peers. I am lucid. I look into one man’s eyes. He says “A little to the right.”

“Oh yes” I nod. And off into the greater being/ The Engineer. I am moving something to the right, adjusting my machine.

At this point I am convinced I am not dreaming. I am convinced I am in reality with my peers and shifting back and forth from my greater self to my current human self.

Back to human self. I wait. Look at a friend’s body. She lifts her hand up and down.

Back to The Engineer and I adjust the machine as per her instructions.

Back to human self.. I am still standing, taking instruction from my peers. Their sounds and movements tell me where the adjustment needs to be made. I stay there physically, using the grid around me to adjust. I use my meridians to tune us all in. I use my spirit and energy to catch the right wavelength, the right speed, and the right vehicle to get us to the perfect reality we want to go to. (Meridians are channels along which the energy of the psychophysical system flows. They are pathways of the positive and negative energy power, which carries on some of the communication between the various parts of human being. By manipulation and balancing of the energy running through this network of complex bodily patterns different effects can be made.)

But at last my dream within a dream is slowly closing. I rush, trying to log all the information, dial the correct knobs, and slide the correct levers. The grid is gone. We all sit on the bench. “I feel plugged in,” says a female voice.

“Yes. Plugged in,” says another. We sit enjoying the moment of grounded acknowledgment.

Awake I am.

So I think. …. Could this be? A dream within a dream within a dream!

I start to feel a bit odd in the depth of my dan tien (triple heater / energy center below your belly button). The orange color of my chakra has a dark substance floating around in it. I know that in the Hindu tradition the word chakra means "wheel." So I spin my chakra in a clockwise motion vibrating the dark sticky oily substance (almost like tar) into a ball. I rise. Step to the edge of the boat and begin to puck up this impurity. What comes out is a huge vapor of blackness. I watch oil stains appear in the water surface below me. An impurity from society that I took in and spit back into the world, hopefully filtering a little dark mass into vapor.

I am pulled into a warm circle of friends. As I look at one of the females I see 1,000 eyes on top of her eyes. Some closed. Some open. Instantly a download of information pours into me. As if they were acupuncture dolls, I see all the acupuncture points on their faces. On other faces I see Mayan symbols around their eyes, nose, cheeks and mouth. Looking at this beauty I wonder how much information is planted within my being. I question how am I connecting to that knowledge from within. ‘How can I pull knowledge from my Sushumna and bring it into my mind and into my mouth and pin. (Sushumna is the central channel, running up the body from just below sacrum to the crown of the head. All chakras spin around this gold white line of the subtle body.)

And I wake. From a dream within a dream within a dream.

I wake with this profound thought. ‘How can I pull knowledge from my Sushumna and bring it into my mind and into my mouth and pin.’

I am left wondering: If I am the creator of my reality, in even a greater sense then I ever imagined before, then how do I create a reality that is full of wisdom and goodness. I do know that I cannot do this alone, and would not want to. It takes each one of us to tune in so that we can vibrate on a frequency of love, compassion and gratitude fully. I have found my soul contracted beings and together we can create a world of laughter, community and simple goodness. We can create whatever we wish by tuning ourselves and by healing and tuning those in need. Perhaps just in the act of be being together, that in itself is greatness.…

This amazingly vivid dream has shown me the power we have as a community. It has shared with me the power of positive action filled with gratitude and compassion. That combined with support and drive can tune us all into a great self with tunes us all into a great world.

Anyway, the machine is almost complete. It just needs a few more tune-ups and adjustments to be complete. I can’t wait to see where it will take us! Keep Dreaming!

Food for thought:

Every thing I have been researching on what this experience is has lead me to:

Chakra Teleportation. Time Travel.

The space we go into sometimes when engaged in this experience is called Bardo.
From Wikipedia : The Tibetan word Bardo means literally "intermediate state" - also translated as "transitional state" or "in-between state". Used loosely, the term "bardo" refers to the state of existence intermediate between two lives on earth. According to Tibetan tradition, after death and before one's next birth, when one's consciousness is not connected with a physical body, one experiences a variety of phenomena. For the prepared and appropriately trained individuals the bardo offers a state of great opportunity for liberation, since transcendental insight may arise with the direct experience of reality, while for others it can become a place of danger as the karmically created hallucinations can impel one into a less than desirable rebirth.

From www.neurovisionacademy.com : [Through meditation] The practitioner [of this Bardo Space ] is able to holographically enter into any of the screens of the human internet and engage all phantom senses holographically.

Pretty cool!

That’s when I realized life is for living!

2010-09-08T20:32:00.001-07:00

August 18, 2010: Just another wed night.

Sitting alone in a beige room clothed in beige. It's not what you think when you think beige. It is beautifully alive and simply elegant. I am waiting... not waiting... I am listening, breathing, stretching, writing... until they tell me I'm "on". At that point I get to express the moment to the fullest. The moment I've created my life around. This moment. This energizing serene moment, right before my music starts. The crowd will be silenced and I am allowed to show myself fully and am fully accepted in all my authenticity. It is me at that moment fully: ME! Alive. Awakened. Conscious. Passionate. In tune. Aware: aware of the music, the floor beneath my bare feet, the lights that may or may not be highlighting my moves, the space which is constantly different ('Is it too small that I can barely turn with two 3 foot veils? Is it so big that I must project myself above and beyond everyone's heads?'), aware of the audience response and emotion ('Is she jealous of my youth, vibrancy and physic? Is he shy or afraid to look at me because his women might sneer at him later? This woman loves my art in all its elegance! And that man ... oh I won't look his way any more.') so may thoughts running through my head. So much to be aware of as I dance and perform for the crowd of seemingly normal Americans. About 90% of the time the audience as a whole appreciates my art, however, once in a while there are a few who fully are confused and awkward. But back to now....

Now: There is the ringing of spoons on Champaign glasses, a toast coming from the other room. "Ice breaker questions, " a man says. It all turns into mumbles from where I am in the guest bedroom surrounded by beige and white and a beautiful soft pink wall. I am sipping on buttery white wine waiting... writing, living, breathing, stretching. A framed Thank You letter from Jamie Lee Curtis and the Orangewoods Children foundation hangs on the wall in front of me. It thanks my client for her work with the Women for Children Scholarship luncheon.

In the hallway there is another framed article about my clients son's successful recovery from a brain tumor at the age of 4. The article explains that she had noticed her son had headaches and was vomiting often. She had his eyes checked and found nothing. As the vomiting got worse she had them checked again. This time the optometrist found something in the optical nerve. Because of her diligence and consciousness she found her sons tumor in time. A neurologist removed the benign tumor and now her son is a 'normal' child: playing sports, and living a 'normal' life.

I overhear parts of a conversation from the dinning room from a gentleman: “ I got clocked on the right side of my face. I wake up in a hospital bed with tubes in my arms and nose... I think I’m a pretty handsome guy, but now I had no right face and tubes up my nose. That’s when I realized life is for living! So I got out of the hospital. …We went out to clubs and lived it up. I would just tape the tubes from my nose to the side of my ear. People would try not to stare... I had reconstructive surgery. It took me 10 years to finally have full control of my right facial muscles... and I had to work at it.”

On the table beside me there is a newspaper clipping with a man (my clients husband) with a metal around his neck, he is in motion running past the breaking winning ribbon in a triathlon.

So maybe this isn’t a household of beige 'normal Americas’ as I said before. Maybe each one of them has a heroic story to tell.

My heroic story… hum… I would like to believe I live it each time I dance. The entire experience is intuitive and heroic. I embrace the moment fully in all its glory and emotion and sometimes that emotion shocks me, and others, a bit. But that is what’s great about it. It is true to what is happening in all our elemental, physical and astral being at that exact moment. Think of it like a painting.

Van Gogh painted mostly outside to capture the changing light of the fields, the sunflowers, the meadows, or landscapes. His textures capture the intensity of his internal state. His colors capture the vibrancy of nature. And in there somewhere the wind and temperature is captured. I’m not sure where, but it is there. I feel it when I look at his art. I feel all the texture of emotion, atmosphere, sound, temperature, past, present, future – all of it. It was heroic of him to give into his passion and do what he felt instead of what was asked of by society. You can see that rampant urge in his art. I dance like an oil painting… colors swirling together, thick and expressive.

From the other room I hear silver on glass again “Clink Clink Clink. Lets here it for our belly dancer!”

Gotta run…..