Words flow in s p i r a l r s s s s s s

Sunken shoulders indicate defeat.

I am sitting inside myself, 

Wondering how to break through and 

Crack into a new.

Fear and sorrow leash me, throwing me off course, 

Yet the course is unknown, 

hidden in the treasure map of the soul 

surrounded by gold.

I reach inside to grasp it and it crumples in my finger tips s  s   s    s        s          s      .

"Be in the now,” the wind whispers.

"Presence in now,” the trees rustle.

I close my eyes to listen to my heart, 

which slowly opens to the light inside and I find ... 

A new sense of angst. 

Angst salted with laziness and tired bones. 

"I'm so tired of the struggle," bones crack and pop. "Open up already and SPEAK."

And the words flow in  s p i r a l r  s  s  s  s   s     s    

as they chase each other like a  c h i l d s s   s    s  imagination, 

free flowing,

ever changing,

never defeating,

just being

Directly shaping the presence of the new now,  

new only to the now, then fleeting.

The angst seeps into a hole of shallow sorrow, 

Calmness leaps to enrich the likelihood of aliveness

And I feel more present in the life i have harnessed.

Each day I become more of a REAL person.

Each day I see how perspectives can HEAL and conjure realities.

The possibilities are fractal-ly endless  as long as i am not mindless. 

Each day love is an option...  so i proceed with caution. 

Each day I have a choice to be present and not hold onto resentment. 

The expansive self relaxes into ecstatic awareness of love. 

While the day-to-day self drags through multiple perspectives. 

The kaleidoscope is focusing in on one vision of reality and I surrender always to  L o   v    e 

free flowing,

ever changing,

never defeating,

just being,

in love. 

Nine Steps to Finding Your Bliss

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”-Joseph Campbell

Nine Steps to Finding Your Bliss: by Leilainia

1. Breathe: The breath is the only thing we have control of in this life. It has the capacity to eliminate deep rooted memories that can get in the way of clarity. When you learn to become one with your breathing, it strengthens and cleanses the nervous system thus increasing a person’s source of life energy.

2. Be an inspiration to yourself and others.

 “Be true to thyself. Love Thyself” - Hanuman
Mantra: “I Am That I Am” repeat for infinity.

3.Love Life Deeply. Accept all that is within you and around you.

 “True Love is to love fully, as you know how, for eternity.” – Lakshmi.

4. Home starts within you. Be a reflection of the community you wish to build.

5.  Liberate yourself from the illusions of life: BE HERE NOW.

Watch your thoughts.
Recognize and accept the past.
Allow the future to dream realities of success.
And then stop… feel what it is to be here NOW. Right Now, not Then, but right NOW.  

6. Quieting the Mind: Meditation is the Greatest Teacher.
Create a constant habit of physical exercise and mediation.
This creates a harmonious balance between the body and mind.
Go inward and create an inner-getic alignment with the self.
To truly quiet the mind one must take the time to cease the constant chatter of the mind with a simple meditative mantra.
So, quiet the mind, take a breath and repeat “Simplicity. Simplicity. Simplicity. Simplicity ….” 

 “The demons that were always in my space seem to have gone somewhere else or are now working for me.” –Zor

7. Accept Change. Everything is constantly changing. Embrace experiences without clinging to them.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
- Lao Tzu

8. Nature Calling: Emerge yourself into nature consistently.
Get outside of the box and get into nature.

“The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature.”- Joseph Campbell

9. Bliss: Melt into the arms of existence with love and gratitude.
“No Want. No Fear.  Love to the Heart of it for Eternal Bliss.” -Krishna
Use this mantra to fill your heart with so much love and gratitude, so that it may flow into infinity and explode into the universe. 

Allow life to blossom into a love light lotus - Leilainia


Join us May 31 for our Nine Levels of Bliss Album Release party!
Info at : http://danyavaad.com/event/album-release-party/

Shakti Fest 2014.

Spiritual home swirling in love and acceptance. 
I see clearly the love that's in me. 
I forgive myself for all the pain I've caused myself and others. 
Clearly is truth of the Now, which is forever changing in the new now. 
As long as I am home within myself everything is set free. 
Listen to yourself and guide from the dance of joy. And always make it beautiful.


Highlights of Shakti Fest 2014: 
*Coed bathroom = yummy, silly, awkwardly intimate , and perfect.

*Camilla and Lorin Roche =Finding the radiant authentic self in a moment of textured truth.

*Michael Brian Baker = Simplicity of the WE collectively creating a moment of the NOW that rises the genius within the tribe.

*Tammy Firefly = Spirit of abundant self reliance always including friends on her magical light joyed journey

*’Waking Life’ moments with Alexandrea talking philosophy, love, psyche and matters of the heart.

*Silly kurtan moments with Adam, Kiyoshi, Gary and puppets

*Heart opening songs with the Healing Heart teepee

*Mermaid magic with Siobhan Shier and Erin after hours in the hot tub.

*Igniting my fire within and wildly sharing it with the audience with on stage with Amritakripa

*Innovating the goddess Shakti within and smiling 


I had such an amazing weekend at Shakti fest 2014. 
Thank you Tammy FireFly for inviting me to perform with you!

Float Tank Journey: May 19, 2014

I experienced a deprivation tank for the first time Monday night at the Float Sanctuary. http://floatsanctuary.com/ 
I loved it and highly recommend it! 
This is what I wrote immediately after I got out of the tank: 


Galactic journey of the spirits into the light where we are all free.
 Individually free and whole.
 And in this we play and create and love and dance and sing and inspire.
All in-love. In-love with the universe within ourselves and around us. In-love we hold hands to share the connection of universal awareness. 
Where rivers run clean, oceans surge free, earth settles deep, fires spawn growth, and air is easy to breathe.
No one owns anyone and we are all free, in-love with the galactic spiritual WE. 
Satnam. Satya. Namaste. Amen within me! Paso Al Sol to be free. 
Into the light we lead!

A witches brew: rid me of unnecessary strife

A witches brew I stirred up for those going through heart break. 
Read two times silently and one time out loud over water( or tears)  and a burning candle (or the fire within) .

*
There's no elixir for a love like this 
There's no tonic for the serpents kiss
Sucking my soul out with your straw
Creaked heart by boredoms law
Dramatic cravings stream in fear
The serpents coil means the end is near

The witches brew boils and spins
Into the cauldron we drip angels skins
Wings tattered and tore
Eyes peering in scorn
hidden in the swallows of heathens cloaks
covered in ashes and soot and tasty yokes

Ravens eyes dim no more
Pierce through my soul to the core
Shatter the hardened cage of life
And rid me of unnecessary strife!
*

Excuse me while I rip my life up

Excuse me while I rip my life up
Tear it apart like a paper doll

Excuse me while I rip my life up
Cut it into pieces until it's all gone
I don't even care about the heart I built within it
Like a child rebelling against myself
Fuck the rules of life
I have my own rules and they drip with ecstasy in my heart! 

Excuse me while I rip my life up
Tear it apart like a paper doll
Eyes wide open 
Legs spiraled open
Kundalini ignite

Glory found in unknown
Dreams of yours forgotten
Greatness prevails on my heart as I don't give into societies plagiarism
Adventure calls as I don't give into societies acceptness of depression

I punished u when i saw your spirit fall
Vowing never to give into life's defeat
And now at the point of falling
My dark angel flaps her wings
To catch me

House of fire
My appetite burns 
Oceans tsunami
My soul cleansed as my family washes away
Wind blows your crap in my face 
And I eat it, bury it in the ground 
to be reborn into a new!

Excuse me while I rip my life up
Tear it apart like a paper doll
Eyes wide open 
Legs spiraled open 
Kundalini ignite

I won't betray you

Ishtar Breaths

Capture the air in my lungs and complete the circuit of healing.
Ether awakened within ME. 
Spiraling through my solar plexus and dan ten.
Wrapping gently around my kundalini and sprouting lilac blossoms of freedom. 
For the first time I can breath!

Photo: Soul Voice /  Graphics: Leilainia

Widowed Soul Of Love

Cry for the widowed Soul Of Love

She silently weeps at the gates of hell

awaiting her lover who has long gone to heaven.

Blindly she feels her way through the dirt and mud

Feeling the eye balls of the dead, 

mistaking them for peebles on the road.

Her journey is dark and filled with turmoil

as she crawls into the abyss of soul searching

Only to find her soul was long ago sold to the angel of broken dreams. 

Sensual lust washes over her 

as the blood of heaven drips through the cracks…

and she drinks it up.

Baths herself in hell

laughing all the way. 

Broken wings tattered and dirty 

grease graces her shoulder as she grasps for the gates. 

Rattled,  the road shakes

Rattled, hells gates creak

as she kicks the lock loose to let me in. 

And a roar of demon hell soars from her being

Fire ignites and lust pours out. 

Cry for the widowed Soul Of Love

waivered away by miscommunication 

sight gone

broken wing

hooves of crows

beak of lion

mane of dragon

Confused child of heaven 

dropped like a rain drop 

bleeding into life.

She crawls into awareness 

and crunches down on the legs of earthly beings. 

Tears of black soot fall from the dark holes 

surrounded by lashes.

Bits of human flesh dangle from her lips and are stuck in her fangs. 

She traps me in her gut of indigestible realities of Hell. 

Her breathe is hot as she grunts: “You want Peace?…

Travel past my lips and into my belly to find those who sought peace.”

She belches a deep gurgling truth that resounds within all beings.

“Peace is the non existence of humanity!…

Peace is the waiting room for hell.

I AM PEACE!”

and I claw to escape her esophagus.

only to fall a sleep into an another dream 

I call life. 

Photo by Craig TheKiwi Brayton

Someone else's shoes.

The morning poem. (Should be read as a song. similar to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2F_hGwD26g )

Nothing in this life's for free
Except for eternity. 
Just turn the key
And u will be
Happy

Love u gotta let it in
And let it flow out
And without a doubt
You will be happy 
And u will find your already wealthy 

Once u open up to the world of you
Once u walk in only your shoes 
Then u will find a piece of life that is so sweet, 
sweeter than the best vegan cake

I . .. I walked alone in someone else's shoes for so long I lost my place
I ... I walked alone in someone else's smile until I broke and cracked into pieces
And my hole is now filled with light of sunshine 

I woke this morning to the rays of heaven
I woke this morning until I fell into oblivion
Am I wrong to fall into u? 
Am i wrong to fall into heaven? 
Heaven only knows the hell that lies beneath the walls of sorrow
Heaven only knows the fire that burned so deep into the well of emotion

Nothing in this life's for free
Except for eternity. 
Just turn the key
And u will be
Happy

Love u gotta let it in
And let it flow out
And without a doubt
You will be happy 
And u will find your already wealthy 
inside

The Boring Blog About Being Bored

According to Wikipedia:  
Boredom is an emotional state experienced when an individual is left without anything in particular to do, and not interested in their surroundings. 
To Bore is to pierce (a solid substance) with some rotary cutting instrument or to force (an opening), as through a crowd, by persistent forward thrusting.

In any case, I’m bored. Not in the forcing an opening way, just plain old bored. And what happens when I’m bored? I watch the colors shift inside tiny droplets of rain as they fall gentle on the window pane and slide down the glass. One after another sometimes barely missing each other, sometimes colliding, sometimes gentling merging into one bigger prism of their temporary life. The reality fuzzes away and the soft and subtle texture of a single rain drop gracefully dances on the glass surface. It takes the world around it and capsulates it in one little droplet of time until it reaches it’s grounding point and releases the light into the ever changing surface of it’s new home. 

… And when I’m bored I sit in coffee shops and watch new lovers awkwardly flirt over tea and foamy coffees. Their eyes bashfully look away from each other. Their hands accidentally touch. Her eye lashes flutter.  His voice cracks a bit as he tries to stay calm. The energy of pink blushes up from their skin.  Illusions of future realities dance in their imagination.

 
 … And I watch old lovers share space together so comfortably, growing closer every second in silence allowing their heart love to sink deeper into their soul. They relish in the comfort of home within love. Just sitting side by side knowing everything will be just fine.  I watch  the old lovers as they silently sit looking at rain drops on the window pane coloring their world with prisms of love and entertainment. 

… And when I’m bored I act out. I rustle things up and bore holes in my reality. I cry and scream, kick and paint and fuck. I tear away any chance of reality and fall into psychosis just to feel this thing called humanity! To be in this capable body with nothing to do! To be in this complex mind with nothing to solve! To be bored with reality is sinful ,so I must sin and I sin good! I bore those holes into all I know is real until every moment of this fucking boredom is gone.  

… And when I’m bored I dance. I make up lyrical songs in my head more beautiful than any song my ears have ever heard and my body dances in the most fluid way I’ve ever experienced. It just moves without any mental energy at all. Arms fly into perfect lines and legs kick higher than I’ve ever been capable. I summersault on my bed. I leap on the couch and pirouette off the arm cushion. I roll on the floor and spring up onto my toes. My hair flies and my body twirls effortless into ecstasy. Rainbows lift from my extensions and rain evaporates from my spirit. 

… And when I am bored, I call to the spirits … and they speak back. I ask them questions of why the world is the way it is and why we are the way we are. They say things like … well one particular spirit, Akasha, answered: “In you is placed imagination. In you is creative thought. In you is the unknown knowledge of all time that grows wiser with each incarnation.” 
And when I asked: How do I gather more love? Another spirit answered: “By being more love.”   They also say things like: “The key to life is gratitude.” 
… Those bored moments actually went on for a while and bore a hole in all I knew that was reality so much so that I felt insanity kicking in. But that was just another moment in my boring life that flew away with fleeting time….

… My father always said “Only boring people get bored”.  I see know what he meant. Bored people are BORE-ING! They do pierce an opening within them selves.  Each boring moment creates an opening for a new outlook on life. It can give you a moment to breathe before the next opportunity arrises to grow. It allows the colors to rest for a moment within a raindrop. It allows the lovers to fall deeper in love. It allows the psychosis to untangle it self. It allows the dance to be awoken. It allows the spirits to share their message. 

Without that moment with “nothing particular to do” we might never… well …. get BOREd into and grow. 

PEACE NOW

PEACE NOW: Shabbat Service at Temple Mt Sinai in El Paso, TX. 11/16/12
Shabbat is the Jewish day of rest. “Shabbat is the most important Jewish holiday,” said Hal Marcus, “and it happens 52 times a year [every Friday night]. It teaches you to chill out and reflect.” 

As the Shabbat Service began, I could tell the temple had shifted since I remembered it as a child. It was no longer the bland service I remember.  Rabbis Larry Bach and Sandra Bellush have filled the service with guitar, singing and passion. The prayers and stories they highlighted accentuated peace and oneness.

In tradition, as every Rabbi does in every Shabbat Service, he invited all the children up to the bimah (the elevated platform facing the congregation in a Jewish synagogue) toward the end of the service, for the Kiddish (a blessing recited over wine or grape juice to sanctify the Shabbat.) At that moment peace was restored in my heart. Two Jewish children ran up to the bimah along with two Muslim children.  And they all drank the grape juice together.

Just think about that for a moment: On the same exact day that the holy city Jerusalem was targeted for the first time ever by rockets fired by Gaza militants, on the other side of the world Muslims and Jews teach their children about oneness.

Since I can remember my father, Hal Marcus, has incorporated interfaith philosophies into his and his children’s lives. My mother, being raised Christian, always decorated an artistic Christmas tree which was usually a branch or a household plant decorated with silver tinsel. My father was raised Jewish and he celebrated the eight nights of Chanukah, as well as all the Jewish holidays, but it went further than that. My parents set up a Buddhist prayer area in our attic and frequently our house would ring with chanting “Nam-myoho-renge-kyo” (The Nichiren Buddhism Lotus Sutra. This mantra that is chanted to attain perfect and complete awakening). On occasion, the whole family would join Native American Ceremonies. My father even woke us three children up one morning to go to Church. “But we are Jewish,” I said.  He agreed but still insisted we attend the church for the experience.   All three of his children were raised Jewish and had our Bar/Bat Mitzvah and our Confirmation (Jewish coming of age rituals), I was married by a Humanistic Rabbi, and we all hold our Judaism close to our hearts, as does my father.   

What this interfaith experience has given me is a world-view of love and community. It has created a world that is full of religious and spiritual beings working for ultimately the same thing: Oneness.  As my father says: “Religions are like fingers on my hands that lead to my heart. Religions are like rivers that lead to one big ocean and that ocean is God. “

It was no surprise to me that he organized “Peace Now” the Interfaith Shabbat Service & Meal at the Temple Mt. Sinai  on November 16, 2012.  For first time in the congregation’s history ten religions came together to share Shabbat. Muslims, Christians, Mormons, Buddhists, Unitarians, Baha'i, Native American Indians, Hindus, Agnostics, Jews and the non-affiliated came together under one roof to share sacred religious space.

In the past years it has been humbling and inspiring to watch my father build his spirituality and community in Temple Mt. Sinai. He has been on the board of directors for 4 years and recently became one of the vice presidents.  He has had the privilege of being a strong voice for social justice and interfaith dialogue. This year the congregation has been a major monetary donor for helping to feed the hungry on a continuing basis. The congregation is one of 20 who are part of Border Interfaith, a broad-based community organization that develops leadership through education and interfaith relationships for effective democratic practices and meaningful community service.  They support Las Americas, a non-profit organization dedicated to serving the legal needs of low income immigrants, including refugees and battered women.

 “We Reform Jews like to challenge the status quo,” said my father. He explains that this is part of his job as a Jew. Tikkun olam (תיקון עולם‎) is a Hebrew phrase from the Torah that means repairing, healing and restoring the world.  Jews believe that humanity should follow Tikkun olam not only because it is required by Biblical law, but because it helps avoid  social disharmony.  “It’s what we are suppose to be doing,” said my father. “Love your enemy, clothe the naked, take care of your neighbor, and feed the hungry…. The more you do this, the better community you have.” My father’s eyes then grew with passion. “In El Paso we share the food, we break the bread and all that stuff.”

This Shabbat Service was a dream come true for my father and my step mother Patricia Medici . They planned on 30 people attending. As my father gave his speech from the bimah and looked out in the full room of over 130 people, you could see the tears well up in his eyes.

He read from his speech:

“Mahatma Gandhi taught that we must be the change
that we want to see in the   world.

If we change, if we share and cooperate, there is no reason
for hunger, poverty or violence.  We know there are enough
resources/enough food/ enough energy/land and water for
everyone.  We need to evolve together once and for all to fulfill
the prophecy of peace. 

I believe that first and foremost that we are all human beings
and we are all brothers and sisters.

I like what Mother Theresa said, that there are
three important things in life:

#1 be kind;     #2 be kind;     #3 be kind

I believe that God doesn't really care what religion you are. 
I think God cares about how we treat each other, how we respect
the planet, and how we live our lives.

I thank you for making this dream come true. I challenge you to
continue this dream and invite other tribes into your temples,
churches and sacred spaces to break bread and discuss our
similarities and differences.”

After the Service was over everyone headed to another room to break bread together and have dinner. Rabbi Bach explained that with all the different religious food restrictions the easiest way to feed everyone was through a vegan dinner. The caterer, One Inspired Chef , served quiche, Spanish rice, spinach salad, tomato soup and even chocolate brownies.

Participants from all ten religions commented on the “beautiful dialogue” and how this gathering is already inspiring them to open their sacred spaces for interfaith gatherings.

My father Hal leaned close into me. “You have to imagine peace. It only takes 3% of the world population to change a mind set."  He’s reminded of a saying. “One day man will not learn war anymore…. Well, why don’t we make that day now?! It’s really easy. It’s fun and it’s enlightening and it’s kind of our job.”

Inviting The Sacred

The plant is the teacher in inviting the sacred into the self. 

Your diet gives preparation and reverence to the experience you call in. When you pay attention to your diet you set the attention to the journey you are about to embark on.  It brings the mind and body energetically together and readies your spirit for an abundant journey. 

I choose to integrate ritual and ceremony into my daily practice of life and create a personal ritual of living. I choose to experience a journey of life filled with compassion, art, music, dance, movement, love, divinity, culture, strength, freedom, sacredness, happiness, surrender, abundance, motivation and light. 

Inspired by Eve of Soul Voice: http://soulvoicesacredart.com/

Photo by Mario Covic. 

What is a prophet?

What makes a prophet is a dedication to compassion,  honesty,  warrior knowledge of survival and instinct,  and humbleness. This came to me in a colorful dream. 

Lightning In A Bottle 2012

Last weekend at Lightning In A Bottle we shared the main stage with Govinda, LUCENT DOSSIER, Bassnectar, Random Rab, Tipper, The Glitch Mob, and so many other mind expanding artists.  It was one of those moments that reminds me why I love to do what I do.

To share the stage with the best artists in our generation humbled me and inspired me to continue sharing my life with others through art and performance. Art opens the soul of humanity and allows for a glimpse of the internal life to expand outward into tangible realism. 


Thank you Lightning In A Bottle for giving artists a space to create, for giving communities a place to grow, and for allowing lost souls to find a home in paint pallets.

http://www.TheShimmySisters.com