Thursday, September 16, 2010

You are the me I’m going to be. A vivid experience.

FORWARD: The other night I had an amazingly vivid experience. It had a feeling and texture. In order to record this experience I began to research, which lead me to Chakra Teleportation, Time Travel and the existence of Bardo. (Info on that is at the bottom.)

Here is a cool video that captures the exact feel of the dream :

I hope you enjoy the read.  And please share your thoughts. 


Through twisted wormholes and kaleidoscopes of different realities I traveled searching for a home for my energy self.  For a moment I was pushed through a wormhole into a ..?  

What am I?

My texture is non organic and I have a tough stickiness to me. I can semi feel cold water of the ocean splash over and move around me.  I cannot see anything except the glimmer of light shinning off of my plastic self, reflecting from the moonlight. I cannot speak or smell. The only sense I have is being.

I am a piece of plastic. A part of a plastic soda can ring container floating in the ocean.

Through the twisted wormhole at the speed of light, into my next self and I find my peers. All four of them with their heads so far away from me. Our heads are connected to fabric that is being weaved together into a blanket by a machine that we cannot see.  It is simply a beautiful feeling: comforting and cozy like a loving warm cuddle. I can feel the texture of each fabric weaving into me: Burlap. Silk. Cotton. Banana leaves. Duvetyn.  Smiles all around from the round heads at the ends of the fabric.

Through the twisted wormhole:

Here I am looking out into the world and see space. Nothing but space. The feeling: I am glamorous and self-absorbed with happiness. I am hogging all the limelight as I flaunt my fabulous, famous self to all space around me. My energy swims around my ‘body’. I am pink. I am wearing sunglasses. And I have a huge pink ass.  Wait for it…. Oh my gaud! I am a huge thanksgiving parade style floating Miss Piggy. Seriously! I laugh at the obscurity. Yep. I’m just floating solely in the atmosphere in love with myself in all my glamour.  I laugh and giggle and enjoy the silliness.

A beautiful kaleidoscopic twist and here I am:

I am ME. In my physical body standing. There is a grid all around me with buttons, knobs, leavers, switches and scales. It is like an 1800’s steam punk machine that is huge. I am just seeing a portion of it. I am moving dials and pushing buttons and sliding pressure gages with my body and hands. With each new position of my body or finger mudra I am tuning into specific channels and stations.

Off into another reality. This time there is no twist. Just straight up. And I am a huge entity. So huge I cannot see my self. I am light and airy. I am the creator. I am ME: the engineer of my world. I am building a huge machine that we are all a part of. A huge industrial machine with wheels and technology, steel and clocks, pressure gages…the works! Wow. This is the Me I a want to be! My physical body points at this great engineer and I say out loud “ You are the me I’m going to be.”
Wormhole to physical reality for a bit. I awake.

Wait is this reality? Am I awake?  I see my peers. I am lucid. I look into one man’s eyes. He says “A little to the right.”
Oh yes” I nod. And off into the greater being/ The Engineer. I am moving something to the right, adjusting my machine.  
At this point I am convinced I am not dreaming. I am convinced I am in reality with my peers and shifting back and forth from my greater self to my current human self.

Back to human self. I wait. Look at a friend’s body. She lifts her hand up and down.

Back to The Engineer and I adjust the machine as per her instructions.

Back to human self.. I am still standing, taking instruction from my peers.  Their sounds and movements tell me where the adjustment needs to be made. I stay there physically, using the grid around me to adjust. I use my meridians to tune us all in. I use my spirit and energy to catch the right wavelength, the right speed, and the right vehicle to get us to the perfect reality we want to go to. (Meridians are channels along which the energy of the psychophysical system flows. They are pathways of the positive and negative energy power, which carries on some of the communication between the various parts of human being. By manipulation and balancing of the energy running through this network of complex bodily patterns different effects can be made.)

But at last my dream within a dream is slowly closing. I rush, trying to log all the information, dial the correct knobs, and slide the correct levers. The grid is gone. We all sit on the bench. “I feel plugged in,” says a female voice. 
“Yes. Plugged in,” says another. We sit enjoying the moment of grounded acknowledgment.

Awake I am.

So I think. …. Could this be? A dream within a dream within a dream!

I start to feel a bit odd in the depth of my dan tien (triple heater / energy center below your belly button). The orange color of my chakra has a dark substance floating around in it. I know that in the Hindu tradition the word chakra means "wheel." So I spin my chakra in a clockwise motion vibrating the dark sticky oily substance (almost like tar) into a ball. I rise. Step to the edge of the boat and begin to puick up this impurity. What comes out is a huge vapor of blackness. I watch oil stains appear in the water surface below me. An impurity from society that I took in and spit back into the world, hopefully filtering a little dark mass into vapor.

I am pulled into a warm circle of friends. As I look at one of the females I see 1,000 eyes on top of her eyes. Some closed. Some open.  Instantly a download of information pours into me. As if they were acupuncture dolls, I see all the acupuncture points on their faces. On other faces I see Mayan symbols around their eyes, nose, cheeks and mouth. Looking at this beauty I wonder how much information is planted within my being. I question how am I connecting to that knowledge from within. ‘How can I pull knowledge from my Sushumna and bring it into my mind and into my mouth and pin. (Sushumna is the central channel, running up the body from just below sacrum to the crown of the head. All chakras spin around this gold white line of the subtle body.)

And I wake. From a dream within a dream within a dream.
I wake with this profound thought. How can I pull knowledge from my Sushumna and bring it into my mind and into my mouth and pin.’

I am left wondering: If I am the creator of my reality, in even a greater sense then I ever imagined before, then how do I create a reality that is full of wisdom and goodness. I do know that I cannot do this alone, and would not want to. It takes each one of us to tune in so that we can vibrate on a frequency of love, compassion and gratitude fully.  I have found my soul contracted beings and together we can create a world of laughter, community and simple goodness. We can create whatever we wish by tuning ourselves and by healing and tuning those in need. Perhaps just in the act of be being together, that in itself is greatness.…

This amazingly vivid dream has shown me the power we have as a community.  It has shared with me the power of positive action filled with gratitude and compassion. That combined with support and drive can tune us all into a great self with tunes us all into a great world.

Anyway, the machine is almost complete. It just needs a few more tune-ups and adjustments to be complete. I can’t wait to see where it will take us! Keep Dreaming!

Food for thought:
Every thing I have been researching on what this experience is has lead me to:
 Chakra Teleportation. Time Travel.
The space we go into sometimes when engaged in this experience is called Bardo.
From Wikipedia : T
he Tibetan word Bardo means literally "intermediate state" - also translated as "transitional state" or "in-between state". Used loosely, the term "bardo" refers to the state of existence intermediate between two lives on earth. According to Tibetan tradition, after death and before one's next birth, when one's consciousness is not connected with a physical body, one experiences a variety of phenomena. For the prepared and appropriately trained individuals the bardo offers a state of great opportunity for liberation, since transcendental insight may arise with the direct experience of reality, while for others it can become a place of danger as the karmically created hallucinations can impel one into a less than desirable rebirth.

From : [Through meditation] The practitioner [of this Bardo Space ] is able to holographically enter into any of the screens of the human internet and engage all phantom senses holographically.

Pretty cool!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

That’s when I realized life is for living!

August 18, 2010:  Just another wed night.

Sitting alone in a beige room clothed in beige. It's not what you think when you think beige. It is beautifully alive and simply elegant. I am waiting... not waiting... I am listening, breathing, stretching, writing... until they tell me I'm "on". At that point I get to express the moment to the fullest. The moment I've created my life around. This moment. This energizing serene moment, right before my music starts. The crowd will be silenced and I am allowed to show myself fully and am fully accepted in all my authenticity. It is me at that moment fully: ME! Alive. Awakened. Conscious. Passionate. In tune. Aware: aware of the music, the floor beneath my bare feet, the lights that may or may not be highlighting my moves, the space which is constantly different ('Is it too small that I can barely turn with two 3 foot veils? Is it so big that I must project myself above and beyond everyone's heads?'), aware of the audience response and emotion ('Is she jealous of my youth, vibrancy and physic? Is he shy or afraid to look at me because his women might sneer at him later? This woman loves my art in all its elegance! And that man ... oh I won't look his way any more.') so may thoughts running through my head. So much to be aware of as I dance and perform for the crowd of seemingly normal Americans. About 90% of the time the audience as a whole appreciates my art, however, once in a while there are a few who fully are confused and awkward. But back to now....

Now: There is the ringing of spoons on Champaign glasses, a toast coming from the other room. "Ice breaker questions, " a man says.  It all turns into mumbles from where I am in the guest bedroom surrounded by beige and white and a beautiful soft pink wall. I am sipping on buttery white wine waiting... writing, living, breathing, stretching. A framed Thank You letter from Jamie Lee Curtis and the Orangewoods Children foundation hangs on the wall in front of me. It thanks my client for her work with the Women for Children Scholarship luncheon.

In the hallway there is another framed article about my clients son's successful recovery from a brain tumor at the age of 4.  The article explains that she had noticed her son had headaches and was vomiting often. She had his eyes checked and found nothing. As the vomiting got worse she had them checked again. This time the optometrist found something in the optical nerve.  Because of her diligence and consciousness she found her sons tumor in time. A neurologist removed the benign tumor and now her son is a 'normal' child: playing sports, and living a 'normal' life. 

I overhear parts of a conversation from the dinning room from a gentleman: “ I got clocked on the right side of my face. I wake up in a hospital bed with tubes in my arms and nose... I think I’m a pretty handsome guy, but now I had no right face and tubes up my nose. That’s when I realized life is for living! So I got out of the hospital. …We went out to clubs and lived it up. I would just tape the tubes from my nose to the side of my ear. People would try not to stare... I had reconstructive surgery. It took me 10 years to finally have full control of my right facial muscles... and I had to work at it.”

On the table beside me there is a newspaper clipping with a man (my clients husband) with a metal around his neck, he is in motion running past the breaking winning ribbon in a triathlon.

So maybe this isn’t a household of beige 'normal Americas’ as I said before.  Maybe each one of them has a heroic story to tell.

My heroic story… hum… I would like to believe I live it each time I dance.  The entire experience is intuitive and heroic. I embrace the moment fully in all its glory and emotion and sometimes that emotion shocks me, and others, a bit. But that is what’s great about it. It is true to what is happening in all our elemental, physical and astral being at that exact moment. Think of it like a painting.

Van Gogh painted mostly outside to capture the changing light of the fields, the sunflowers, the meadows, or landscapes. His textures capture the intensity of his internal state. His colors capture the vibrancy of nature. And in there somewhere the wind and temperature is captured. I’m not sure where, but it is there. I feel it when I look at his art. I feel all the texture of emotion, atmosphere, sound, temperature, past, present, future – all of it. It was heroic of him to give into his passion and do what he felt instead of what was asked of by society. You can see that rampant urge in his art. I dance like an oil painting… colors swirling together, thick and expressive.
From the other room I hear silver on glass again “Clink Clink Clink. Lets here it for our belly dancer!” 

Gotta run…..